Boondocks and Bowling


Dominic Neely, Staff Writer

Saturday night was sure a night to remember for Holy Family Seniors and Juniors. After a fun dance, everyone went over to Boondocks for a night of fun. Students were promised the opportunity to beat psychology teacher, Mr. Richard Everett. And they were not disappointed. One of the many games Mr. Everett lost in was bowling. For more on that, here’s the man himself with a recap of what happened.



On Saturday 7 May 2022, Mr. Everett attended the Holy Family High School’s after prom at Boondocks in Northglenn, Colorado. The after prom started at 11:00pm MST – a full three hours past Mr. Everett’s ideal bed time.  Thus he was already in a bad headspace to perform at the peak athletic ability everyone is used to – and frankly expects. See release dated 10 March 2022 – Staff Volleyball Game.


Mr. Everett’s illustrious bowling ‘career’ has brought him to the Truman Bowling Alley at the White House, so all the naysayers that don’t believe he has ever bowled before are just plain wrong.


Mr. Everett was engaged in a fierce multigame battle with Jack Krueger on lane 2. (Mind you, this whole time, Mr. Everett was playing with a 13lbs ball – and no bumpers – whilst everyone else in Boondocks was playing with a 8lbs ball or less) Games in which he was keeping up with Mr. Krueger (please do not fact check this with Jack or any other witnesses), despite the fact that Mr. Everett is 15 years his senior. Mid game, the lanes inexplicably had technical difficulties.


Mr. Everett and Mr. Krueger had to move their game to lane 7.  This is where the wheels *allegedly* came off.  This lane was terrible.  On top of this, a Boondocks employee approached Mr. Everett midgame and said that he would have to put on bowling shoes if he would like to continue playing.  Obviously, we know how this went. Mr. Everett’s germaphobia engaged and that was the end of bowling at Boondocks.


There will be no further comment on this matter. Please respect Mr. Everett’s privacy at this time.

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It’s obvious to see Mr. Everett is doing exactly what he did after the volleyball. Excuses aside, prom and the after party was a great way to end the year. Thank you everyone for reading and loving our stories!