**DISCLAIMER — THIS IS A SATIRE (NOTHING IN HERE IS TRUE)**

All colored hair should be banned. Coloring your hair has become very popular among  teenagers and young adults. We must stop this. If we let this continue it will corrupt our world. We don’t want the face of our future to have pink hair. Here are five reasons colored hair besides natural colors should be banned.

1. It is SO unprofessional. Colored hair is so unprofessional. Do you know why its unprofessional? Because society tells us it is and we ALWAYS listen to society. There are less job opportunities for people with colored hair because everyone wants a worker that’s a robot and never expresses themselves. If your child can’t get a professional job they’ll end up as a journalism teacher!

   

2. It leads to more. It starts with the colored hair but soon enough they’ll get piercings! And even worse TATTOOS!!  You know what piercings and tattoos lead to…. nothing good. Tattoo ink seeps into the bloodstream and fills it with black goo from the dark side and piercings resemble the horns of a mythical creature. All of this happens because of manic panic pink hair dye.

   

3. Eccentric self expression is never okay. If their self expression is too expressive they stick out like a sore thumb. You don’t want to be one of those people. Instead people should  express themselves through their shoes or socks. That’s a normal ways to express themselves.
4. Its not in the bible. God said ‘your body is a temple’ not ‘your body is a coloring book’ . No where in the bible God says that colored hair is allowed. It is disrespectful to ruin the natural color Jesus gave you at birth. Don’t let our future turn away from the light from God
5. The dye seeps into your brain. Anyone who dyes their hair, the dye will seep into your brain. It will make them rebel and disrespect authority. Eventually they will bald just like the picture of the journalism teacher.

Hair dying will only lead to bad things. If we let this continue our future will have colored hair and a nose rings. It’ll be overpopulated with sad journalism teachers with an hourly pay of $2 . Listen to this warning and take action. We must stop the hair coloring!!