Fat Man Review: Sometimes we make regrettable decisions

Fat Man Review: Sometimes we make regrettable decisions

Welcome back to another Fat Man Review and we are back on the quest of secret menu items, and if you are wondering why I took such a long break since my last review. Well, it’s because I have to eat things like the menu items on review for today.

But because I do feel bad about not writing a quest story in a while I decided to do a little two-for-one today. And the items in question are the Incredible Hulk and the Superman, both from everyone’s favorite place to go at three am that’s not IHOP, Taco Bell.
Taco Bell to begin with is one of those places that has no real food and can’t even be considered a restaurant.

And I mean no one in their right mind should eat unless everything else is closed, at least it definitely should not be your first choice *cough**cough* Jadyn and Diego.

With that being said there are a few menu items that taste good enough to forget that you are eating more mysterious meat than that shady ethnic place down the street that advertises their 100% food poison rate.

These items just being plain soft tacos as once again it’s my opinion that anything named a five-layer extreme nacho cheese burrito seems too fat for even me (I can’t believe I just said that).

And we have gone over some heinous menu items like the meat Mountain and the god-awful monster Mac that still makes me shiver to this day but honestly, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to go through. I have had these items circled for review for a while and it is safe to say that I greatly overestimated my stomach.

I am going to start with the lesser of the two, The Superman. A layered nacho burrito that has extra potatoes, beans, meat, lettuce, sour cream, and guac(just a little), and is also double-wrapped. Bringing a normal a 4-dollar burrito to an astounding twelve.

This monster’s attraction was all about volume, however, it wasn’t as big as the triple-wrapped quesoritto, granted it was like ten dollars cheaper. The size left something to be desired as I could still fit it in my mouth so for the challenge portion I will give The Superman a 3.4 out of 10.

For the food section, I was kind of disappointed again but I could have guessed that anything from Taco Bell just tastes like hot garbage, so again I will be giving it a low score of 4.4 out of 10. The only saving grace was the meat and potatoes had a taste and the burrito wasn’t dry.

For the price, I wasn’t too mad at it but it wasn’t great so I’ll give a 2.8 out of 5.

All in all The Superman was very lackluster, I was already coming into this one with not the highest expectations as the next one I knew was going to be worse but unlike the Quesoritto the food tasted like crap so it wasn’t able to make up for the other shortcomings.

Although The Superman was a little disappointing The Incredible Hulk more than made up for it in my suffering.

The Incredible Hulk is a double-wrapped beefy five-layer burrito with everything subbed out except for extra meat, extra sour cream, and double servings of guacamole.

This burrito is just pure meat, sour cream, and guacamole. And lets not kid ourselves the guac at Taco Bell is more like baby poop paste.

On the first bite, I knew I was in for a terrible time of just pure disgusting hell as the green slop just bursted out of the double wraps. This thing was absolutely terrible, I would rather be smashed by the real Incredible Hulk than eat that again.

Just to get this review over with and get this thing out of my head. I am a guacamole person and I think its a top tier dip but the sheer amount along with the quality of Taco Bell everything made it just taste awful. Like absolutely terrible, the only food item that comes to mind is the Monster Mac but even the Monster Mac didn’t taste this bad. And for that I will give it a 0.0 out of 10.

For the challenge part the Hulk made up for it as again I was struggling to keep this down. So for the challenge part I will give it a 9.2 out of 10 and for the price, I’ll give it a 2.3 out of 5 as the price was not worth my sanity. bringing the grand total to 11.5 out of 25 which just goes to show that the actual tastes matters.

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About the Contributor
Angelo O'Dorisio, Staff Writer
My name is Angelo O'Dorisio and I chose to because Mr. Yunt was such an amazing teacher for journalism and because it sounded fun. For Holy Family I play guard in football and I wrestled, but outside the school I play house club hockey.

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