Welcome back for the first Fat Man review of the year. This time we will be sadly doing something that I really try to stay away from, as nine times out of ten, food is always good as long as it is edible. However, in the case of the food at the YMCA of the Rockies it was not.

The YMCA of the Rockies is where the seniors had their retreat this year; it was mostly amazing. The rooms were good as they had a bathroom, the beds didn’t feel like plywood, and you had fans and heaters in all of the rooms. That’s before we even get into the other facilities.

Starting with the Long House. It was a massive gym with a roller rink, a basketball court, and a little lounge to hangout. Then you have an indoor pool which, I didn’t go anywhere near it, because fat guys don’t swim they sink, but I did hear that it wasn’t bad and was pretty nice all things considered.

Then you have all of the outdoor activities you could’ve done. Now even though it was negative for the entirety of our stay we still found time to go ice skating on a pond, use the outdoor sports facilities, or my personal favorite the sledding hill.

The sleds were at first provided by Mr. Desantis but since we had people of mass use them and there wasn’t that much powder the hill so we ended up breaking all of them and having to rent them from the YMCA itself. But it was the most fun thing to do there.

But now it’s time to get into why the food was so bad it almost ruined the weekend.

The dining style was an all-you-can-eat buffet, which as you know yours truly would be ecstatic about, but the food was just terrible. It looked like straight vomit, like how over-dramatic kinds consider every other food other than chicken nuggets.

The ham was made of rubber, you couldn’t even chew it. The Chicken wings had no meat and worse of all they weren’t even cooked. The chicken was more pink than the darn Ham. No one even touched the fish for obvious reasons.

The Burgers looked like they were infected with a viral disease. And you know a food place isn’t going to be good when they have a veggie burger where you can see every veggie in that dang thing.

The cornbread was harder than the ice outside, the salad tasted like expired vinegar (it was supposed to be Cesar), there was literal slop, and they had a lobster Bisque that was almost as lonely as I am.

So after weighing their options, the majority of people just tried to eat only the uncrustable as they were the only thing not made by the kitchen, the only problem was that they were so old, I was skinny when they were packaged.

The ONLY thing that was close to edible was the mac and cheese which tasted like almost nothing but cheese. That probably saved it.

The only reason that people didn’t starve was the Mr. Desantis thought ahead and got a pallet of snacks for everyone, so there was more eating during the meetings than during actual meal time.

Now although this may sound crazy I had an awesome time even with the lack of good food, a it was an amazing experience that was made even better hanging out with some friends.